I am very depress now . I am feeling so stess . I know it was my fault to cause all this . Something happen to me recently but i am not going to say what happen , only some of the people knows . No one can help me , i need money . Only money is able to help me solve my problem . Does anyone of you have money to lend me ?? No , cause everyone is studying not working , they will definitely have no money to help me . I cant ask mum for help too , she will just scold me and maybe ignore me . Anyone have jobs to intro , so that i could at least have some money to settle my problem . I am really depress , i feel like dying , i feel tired . I know is myself that create this problem , this trouble now . hais . I really feel guilty about it . But what to do ?? What have done is done , i cant turn it back and restart all over again .

Have a quarrel with Baby too . I just dont understand what he really wants in a relationship . I just dont know what to do . He seem to be suffering being with me . He is tolerating all my attitude and everythings . Maybe let go is the only solution that wont let him suffered . I have lots of problem and trouble , i wont really go and care this relationship much . If he really feel suffering , then he can leave me . I wont blame him . I am just a bad girlfriend . I am just a failure in relationship . I cant my own boyfriend , the one that i loves most to even trust me . What to do ? Who to blame ? No one but myself . Blame myself for being so unlucky , blame myself for my attitude or anything that makes him dont even trust me . Can a relationship last long with trust ?? I doubt so . All i can do now is just hope we can last long and nothing else .

PEOPLE KINDLY LEAVE ME ALONE BAH !!!!!

Last night , sometime was inside my eyelid and it hurts . So i try many ways to touch my inner eyelid to see if there is something , after trying , the pain is still there but nothing inside . Due to the thousand and billion of germs on my hands , my eyes got swollen . Go school with swollen eyes , friends was asking " You kena punch arhx " or "what happen to your eyes sia " . My answer " swollen la , never see before meh " . Lesson was boring . After school went bubble tea to slack then back to school to find Xueling Darl . Home Sweet Home after that :D Chat with Affia on Msn and she told me something which make me feel like *puking* . Told Darl and she was like YUCKS !!! Hahas :D

http://madbutcher.blig.ig.com.br/ Visit this website . But but but ... WARNING!!!! Must be mentally prepared people !!!! It is gross man !!! They are just so sick man .

Today was the start of the holiday timetable . Every lesson was 1h30mins . Have Geography for the first lesson . Both classes 511 and 512 went to the AVA theatre because every geography teacher have go on a trip only left Mr.Chan so he have to replace all the geography teacher . Teacher go through with us the mock test paper . Next lesson was English . Mdm.Noorzura take over Mr.Rozario . She go through the mock test paper with us and gave us a English homework and ask us to read and attend some of the question . Release us 10mins earlier for recess . Actually wanted to wait for HuiNa they all then go buy food together , but dont know why , we decided not to wait and went to buy first :D Next lesson was Social Studies , have a full paper Mock Test . Paper was okay , hope i can pass bah :D Till now , i havent even pass my social studies test before =X After the lesson , went to math extra class , teacher says i do not have to go cause i did went for every saturday lesson and understand . YAY-ness !!! Saw sister having peer-tutoring with See Cheng . Went to bubble tea shop first as HuiNa is hungry and wanted to eat . Saw Baby , Stamford and YanHui there . Bought Waffle Chocolate and Green Apple Green tea . Sit down talk to them and eat . 2pm plus , Home Sweet Home :D

To Baby ,

After many days of thinking , i have decided to really try to start trusting you . I hope that i have made a right choice . I dont wish to be hurt or sad again by your lies . I hope this decision i have made is right !!! As like what someone tells me , if you dont trust him , then what for being with him ?? You will never be happy ... Maybe just believes him that he still misses his ex but with no loves , which I forever wont agree with it . The person told me that him himself will also still miss his ex but dont love her le . But the case is different as they did not contact le . He will never knows how i feel , cause he have never experience before . But whatever it is , i have decided to trust him le :D I LOVES HIM !!!!

I LOVES MYSELF!!!

Okays , today have our 'O' level Mother Tongue examination . Was damn nervous . Paper One was fine , but i just feel that i was writing rubbish , hopefully my rubbish could let me score high bah . Then have 30mins break . Went to the toilet and canteen to get some food . Went back the hall and paper 2 was fine too , able to do it . Hopefully i can get really high score for it man !!! Although i have no confident , but i still wish i can get at least an A2 . Oh my god , if you are seeing this post , please let the examiner love my composition and hope i do correctly for my paper 2 and let me dream come true :D Went to KFC for lunch after the exam with Xueling darl , her boyfriend , HuiNa , Melinda , Marcus , PohSuan , Sister and Baby . Chen Hong ran away and PS us . IDIOT !!!! Slack at there and chit-chatting with them , talking nonsense , home sweet home after that :D Marcus Koh , We are sorry , do forgive us kays ??? Dont be petty la , dont forget you say you love us de ?? Dont angry arhx :D There is school tomorrow , while others are enjoying their holiday . SIAN -_- But after 'O' i will be very free :D Off to bed liao ..... Bye peeps :D

Happy 18 birthday Baby !!!!

Some Random photo :D

Happy 18 Birthday baby !!! As tomorrow is our "O" level mother tongue , baby cannot celebrate his birthday :( Yesterday , baby went to slack with Helmy ( If i am not wrong) and Shiwei at my house nearby till 6am . Madness !!! Wake up , use the computer , bathe and watch television . Affia and Lam come my house to do their art . Lam left after awhile . Something happen *skip* Called baby went he wake up . Left house at around 5.00pm plus . Went Tampines Mall as Affia is buying cake for her mother and i am buying cake for Baby :D Walk around and bought a Precious Thots chocolate . Accompany Affia go buy cake at Polar and i bought a strawberry shortcake for Baby at four leaves :D Went inter to take bus 65 and reached Baby house at 6.45pm . Cut the cake and eat , so YUMMY !!!! Hehe :D Watch television , went down to eat and Home sweet Home :D I LOVES MY BABY !!! May all his wish come true :)

Happy One year Anniversary !!!!!

Qing Shou Guan Ying . Hahas !!!

Baby and I *LOVES HIM*

Stella Jie and I :D

My reflection !!!!

Elmo :D



I loves me hair !!!
Muack~ Muack ~
My Frog Bear Bear

Bleah :p

Went to Baby house to pass him his shoes and hat . Wait-ed for him to prepare .Then left house to Orchard . Actually Sister meeting us de , but dont know why halfway she said not meeting le and she went to meet Affia . Had a quarrel with baby and is the worst quarrel bah . But afterall , everything is fine :D Meet ShiWei and CityHall MRT . Went to queue for the hotpot culture . The food there was nice but the service was lousy . They took a long time to serve . Baby and ShiWei had Chicken broth while i had the hot and spicy . While eating , we saw alot of police walking and running here and there . Then the workers told us that there is people called the police and said someone was killed . *scary* Then we order the Chocolate Fondue , Shiwei was the first time eating it and he was very exciting. Hahas !!! Then when to slack awhile , take picture . See got what movie to watch but dont have , wanted to go TopOne but too late le . So home sweet home :D ShiWei and Baby send me home and they slack at my house downstair .

Baby , happy one year anniverary :D I am very happy being with you . Was happy when i receive your message on 12am that night . You told me you really loves me , but i really dont know if it is true , i will still doubt your loves . Sorry !! I dont trust you , it is the fact , i cant force myself to trust you , i dont know why !!! Maybe i am scared and will paranoid , i scared that if i trust you back , when you done something behind my back again , i will be sad again . Sorry !! I will treat you nicer , wont show you attitude and try to answer all your question , i will try to be a good girlfriend . I hope you will too .Hope one day , my trust for you will be back and i will really trust your loves :D I LOVES YOU :D

Went to school as per normal . Today was operation clean-up . First we went to the hall and they give out some prize , then we went back to our form teacher homeroom and start to clean up . The malay student went to mother tongue lesson so they never help to clean up . Then teacher bought some drinks for us too . After cleaning , we play some of the games in teacher homeroom while waiting for the Malay student to come back . Home sweet Home at 11.00am :D Reached home bathe and sleep for awhile . Then called Baby at 3.40pm to wake him up as he is going dentist . Then i went to prepare and off to meet HuiNa at Tampines platform . We went to Hall 7 , The robinson sales :D Walk around and went to bought some bras as it is really cheap lorr !!!! Then HuiNa and I each bought a Puma jacket at only $29.90 . Then we set of to Hall 6 for the food fare . There is lots of people !!!! Then bought some food and settle down at one of the place to eat . Baby came to join us too :D Then Sister and HuiNa went to buy Mr.Bean GreenTea and Bean Yogurt ice-cream , OMG , the taste is so sucky , taste like plasticine !!!! Then we actually wants to go to the Adidas fair but closed le . Then we went to buy slippers , Baby and I bought the same :D After that we went separate ways le . I accompany Baby to Tampines Mall eat as he is hungry . Walk around and baby bought a cap :D Then waited for sister at my house downstair and Home Sweet Home !!! I HAVE A FUN DAY TODAY :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AND MISS NORA !!!!

Happy Birthday to myself :D Went to school as per normal . People around start to wish me Happy Birthday . Thanks !!! Going to mother tongue class , walk pass Miss Nora and she came to wish me happy birthday and sing song for me ... Then i ask her how she know my birthday and she replied cause same day Birthday ma , i was "Oh " then i also sing her Happy birthday song . Miss Ang walk pass and wish us too :D After school , went Baby house as he is cooking Mian Xian for me :D When to the nearby supermarket to buy the ingredient . When home and start to cook . Finish eating jiu went to his room to rest . Then he pass me my birthday present , Loves it alot , Thanks Baby !!! Loves you Lots :) Then watch television , 6.30pm home sweet home . When tuition then called Baby when i reach home . THANK TO THE PEOPLE WHO WISH ME , WHETHER IT IS MESSAGE OR TAG ME ..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MISS NORA TOO :D

Loves him :D

Had Mother Tongue intensive from 20th - 22nd May . The lesson was bored , all teacher do was go through paper and do composition . Yesterday , i was being scolded because i was talking to Shirley . She scream and said "不要再讲话了 ( stop talking) " then i turn and told Shirley " Wa , 如果她赶我出去 ，我可以回家了， 因为一整天都是她的课 (If she really chase me out , i can go home already cause all the way is her lesson)" Then she start become very angry and scream to ask me stop talking . Hahas !!! Have recess from 11.00am to 11.45am , long recess :D Went back and continue our lesson , was so bored and i fall asleep . After school , went home and sleep . At night went for tuition :D
Today , went Shirley house downstair to wait for her to come down as we are taking her father van . Wait till 7.15am , we still didnt saw her , so Jonathan said she might overslept and he called her . And yes , he was right , she really overslept . So we went to school ourselves . Decided to have prata for breakfast first before going to school . So called chenHong and he wait-ed for us at the ITE bus-stop . Wait for JiaJian and the 222 bus-stop as he was late too . Jonathan go first as he have some activities later , cannot be late . When prata shop and ate one egg prata . The uncle was so scary lor , he suddenly walk till our table and as if we have any problem in a scary way . Hahas !!! When in school and went for out mother tongue lesson . Teacher said we all plan to be late for her lesson , so she chase us out and ask us to do our work outside . When to 3rd floor to do our work and she called us go back at 10.00am . But we havent finish our work so we never went back and she keep ask Shirley to call us and ask us come back . Hahas !!! After school , Home Sweet Home :D

I miss this girl here ... Miss all the gossip session with her :(

It Vesak Day today , no school !!! Was at home the whole day , help mum to sweep the floor . So damn bored . Tried to draw my art but then no idea so .... still the same . Hahas :D Bored bored bored :o Ate mac for dinner , so unhealthy =X

To shirley ,
hmm , i am not that petty , just because for that moment for who will also angry or dulan de . To you also de lorr... Whatever it is , what past has past . No point angry . So dont worry , i am not angry le :D

Aloy , I am waiting for you to get your license :D

Just back from Simei . Went to meet sister Affia and Marcus . Meet them outside burger king and off to Hola coffee shop for my late dinner . hahas :D After eating jiu at there slack slack awhile jiu home sweet home . On the way to bus-stop , saw my primary school friend . He is so freaking tall man !!! Hahas :D


Everyone's love to lie . I dont know why ... Iszit really very fun to lie to someone ?? I really dont know . This 2 days things happen which really make me very angry and upset . Tell me you meet him but later i told my sister and she told me you meet your friend ?? Telling my sister you alone dont know go where then saw till your friend ? OH MY !!! You think i am a 3-Years-old kids to believe what you says ?? Will anyone go out alone walk walk ?? If yes but i dont think you are that kind of people .... Whatever it is ... You are just fucking lying to me . Stop saying you wont .. I will never ever believes you again . Dont blame me for doing that , is your own fault okays !!! Whatever it is , i am not going to care anymore . Do anything you like , maybe no ones know . Actually you did not meet him or your friends instead you when to meet your girls friend . But whatever it is , like i said , I am not going to care anymore . Do what ever you like . Never to contact me , i will also never contact you until we see each other bah .... I need to be alone ...

After this few days , i have finally know one thing "never ever believes anyone"

Every thing that we have plan have been destroy . Last minute cancel outing . WTF !!! *angry* That is all i can says . Lucky Baby is there . I cant imagine if i am alone and everyone just put my plane . *Skip* Watch Chocolate till halfway then when out . Dont know where to go . When to Eunos MRT , Baby and i was looking at the map seeing where can we go . Ring-ed up ShiWei and ask him if Choa Chu Kang have any shopping mall . And he said yes , Lot 1 . We decided to go Marina Square first as i was very hungry and wanted to eat Sakae Sushi . At last , the blur us could not find Sakae so we settle down at Thai Express . Order TomYum steamboat and Beef Noodle . Awhile later , sister came to join us and she ate a TomYum noodle which was so spicy . Hahas . After eating jiu went to walk around and saw Wanrong BingQin they all . Is Bingqin girlfriend birthday and they are celebrating for her . Asked Baby if there is anything he like so that i could bought for him as his birthday present . But after walking around Suntec and Marina Square , nothing caught his eyes . Oh ya , ChenHong came to meet us too :D We went to Carrefour and we were joking around with the things there . 10.00pm plus plus , HomeSweetHome as Sister was tired . ChenHong alight at Bugis because he went to Yanping . After that , baby send me home . Going out with ChenHong is fun .. Ask he is very rubbish ... Oh , we also saw SiHua :D

Today have english lesson for 1h30min . Got back our English paper and i passed for the time being . Luckily i still be able to pass my both language subject :D Maths for 1h30mins also . Did a math probability test . Last lesson was physic . Teacher go through the mock test . JiaJian , YanHui , Baby and i was so bored and YanHui have poker card so we play dai dee . Played till half-way , Chen hong shout " WaLao , teacher teaching , you all never pay attention still play card " then we all tell him " Wa Hong , we feel like slapping you sia " . Hahas . Stupid sia him . I.D.I.O.T !!!!! Just finish doing my Geography holiday homework but still got one question havent do . Gonna do it later and also do my Chemistry TYS . I am such a good girl =X Tomorrow going suntec with Xueling , Jonathan , HuiNa , Baby , ChenHong and I . Gonna go there for something . *Secret* Hehe :D

Happy Birthday Mama !!!!

Today was my mama birthday :D Happy birthday to her . Yesterday , we have a early celebration for her . We went to East Coast Jumbo to eat . 2nd Brother did not go as he have to work till 8.00pm . The food there was not really nice partly because they order Crab and Prawn and i am allergic to it . After eating , went to Giant to buy some stuff then home sweet home . Take the cake out and sing birthday song for Mama :D Wish all her wish will come true :)

Is a marking day today so no school for me . Yayness !!! Did my art just now but not done all yet , halfway done only . Gonna start on my chemistry TYS , have not been touching that book and it look so new . Hahas . Got back most of my mock test paper . All i can say is i flunk all the paper :( Only manage to pass my mother tongue . D.I.S.A.P.P.O.I.N.T.E.D . Have to work extra harder . O level is coming , no more time for playing , have to start revision and listen in class . June holiday will not have time for me to play , have to go back school almost everyday except sunday for remedial . This holiday is also a time for me to work really hard . Hope i will get good result bah ..


I dont know why i have this feeling that you have lots of thing hiding me . Although you did tell me that your love for me is true , but i dont feel happy . Instead , i will be thinking if you are hiding something from me , you didnt tell me something . All this run in my mind everyday . I dont know why also . I feel that there is a wall in between us , I will never ever knows what you really want in a relationship and although you know what i really want but you will never ever give me . You are always hiding your problem , trouble inside your heart or share it with your friends . Then what i am to you ?? A girl who just your girlfriend , just treat her good , make her happy and that's it ? That's not what i want , i want a boyfriend who really cares for me , who share with me all your trouble , problem and no secret hiding from me . Is it really so difficult to do it ?? And all i can make sure is , as long as she is still in your heart , my trust for you will not be there and i doubt your love . Dont blame me , and do understand . You should know what happen too . If this happen to you , you will also do that . When will exactly be the time where there will only be me in your heart ?? No girls in this world will ever wish to share their's boyfriend with other girl right ?? So do i ...

Friday 09-05-2008

Happy Birthday Affia and Melinda :D

Me , HuiNa and Melinda

Baby and me :D

Darling and me :D

The Birthday cake we bought :D

Cutting the cake
Affia feeding Melinda :D

The Girls Group Photo :D

School ends at 12.30pm . Went home straight after school . Prepared everything at 4.45pm and wait for sis to be back home . When she reached home , called up everyone and confirm the time . Meet HuiNa , Jonathan , Xueling and XianEng at Tampines MRT platform . Xueling and Jonathan will be late so meet them at Suntec together with Marcus and Baby . Melinda came up to our train and set off to Suntec together :D Went to find the "HOT POT CULTURE" . Melinda , sister and Xianeng queue for it while Me and HuiNa went to see if there is a cake shop here . Decided to go up YuKiYaki to take a look . Not much people so ask them if they wants to eat YuKi YaKi , they says Okays so all meet at there . Wait for our seats . Actually we will be sitting far away but because there is a empty seats behind Affia and peeps , so we change our seats . Our table was clean and tidy but Affia that table were messy and dirty . They play games and make alot of noise . After eating , off to esplande while HuiNa , Xueling , Jonathan , Baby and me went to buy a cake to surprise them . But we failed to surprise them as we lost our way to esplande . Celebrate at a place which is very special .. Hahas !!!! Take photo and went home . Baby send me home :D Send Esther home first then went home !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFFIA AND MELINDA ... HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT :D

Saturday 10-05-2008

Went for remedial from 8.30am to 1.00pm . Was so tired and fall asleep in the bus , lucky i wake up when it reaches my stop . Was not studying with the class because i have already done what they were doing so i do other things . JiaJian , Xueling and Stamford did not went to the remedial and i was alone :( Went home at 1.10pm . Went to meet Baby . Actually want to go out de , but Xueling Darl went Malaysia to visit her Grandfather so the outing was cancel . Stay at baby house all the way . Baby fall asleep , awhile later i also . Wake up and watch detective Conan and zhou ri ba dian tang . Home Sweet Home at 11.00pm . LOVES MY BABY :D