I am so vexed, so worried and so scared. What can i do to make myself stop feeling that ? I am going to get depression soon . Bestie ask me what happen but i couldnt tell him because i have not confirm the stuff . So i could only keep it to myself . That feeling is not good . I could only feel ease when he reply or message me . Haix .... 3pm will be the answer .
This is my first time tearing in the office . Icouldnt control it . Lucky i quickly went to the toilet :'(

22nd Febuary 2009

Went to meet Baby , brought over rice and kueh made by Mum for him . Watch television . Had a quarrel with Baby and i cried . Shall not elaborate more . Prepare and left the house at around 6pm plus . Over to queue for Sakae . Craving for Sushi again :) Sis and Shiwei came to meet us too . Walk around and we have nothing to do , so over to void deck. Play the 'Pig Game' it was so fun i swear . We were laughing like idiots . Hahas . 12am , Home Sweet Home :)

21st Febuary 2009

Went to meet Baby . At night, over to meet Sis, Shiwei and Wanrong . Dinner at Century Foodcourt . HuiNa came to find us after her movie session with Yitze . Bought our movie ticket, Look For A Star after dinner . Over to play our Pig Game. It was so fun and we were all addicted to it . Went for our show, overall the show is quite nice to me but everyone think it was boring . 3 Guy went to watch and talk walk out halfway . Hahas !! Went opposite coffee shop for supper . We start to play the Pig Game again. Loser had to drink a cup of drink mix with Water, Milo, 2 spoonful of soup and Chilli Sauce . The smell stink i swear . Lucky i didnt lose so i dont have to drink :) Ken was the loser as he had to drink half of the drink . Hahas !!! Home Sweet Home at 5.00am :)

Baby , if you are reading my blog, this post is for you :) My future is in you hand Baby . You are my future . I did really thought of marrying you , being with you for the rest of my life . Is that possible ? I dont know , i really do hope . I do really loves you alot alot . Being with you , i have a lot of first time . You are the first guy who brought me to the zoo . You are the first get who i bring to see my mum . You are the first guy that my mum accepted . You are the first guy that know everyone of my family. Even my grandma rememeber you clearly . You are the first guy who i had watch so many movies with . You are the first guy that really let me know what eternity loves is . You are the first guy who cook for me . You are the first guy who i really wish to married . You are the first guy i really wish to spend my whole life with . You are the first guy who let me know what happiness is . You are the first and will be the last . I loves you Baby !! Dont every leave me or lie to me okay ?? I need an answer .

Work Work Work , i really hate working . But no choice, work is the only way to earn money. I should have consider lucky t0 have a good boss which is funny, not strict and love to joke around . He allow us to do anything like using Msn, surf the net and watch show on computer. But i hate to wake up early, bathe , prepared and work work work . Finish working , went home eat or went out . The next day same routine . Doing the same thing everyday . Wanted to change job because this job pay is low, always sit which make me growing fat which i Hate it man !!! I want a job like waiter , high pay !!! But school is starting. Very difficult to find a new job now . So i just have to stick with it . I forget when i went for company lunch and we went Sushi Tei to eat . It was super yummy !! Going back there eat next time with Baby . I LOVES SUSHI !!!

Somtime i do wonder , if one day we really break up, who will be the one to said , what was the reason . To me , if it was me, the reason for breakup will be TRUST . We are just lack of trust . I dont know why i become so emotional when we didnt quarrel instead we are happy now. We only get to see each other 2 day a week , if you went poly, will the time we meet get short or lesser ? We are like studying at 2 different area, you at Tampines and I at Woodland . How i wish that you had never ever lie to me before , you had never ever message her before . I guess we will be more happy than now . My trust towards you will be more. Till now, i still cant forget every single things that happen in the past . Tear just drop whenever i thought of it . Fear is back when nightmare appear .Will you leave me ? I dont know the answer . She might just contact you back . Your feeling and those memories of the 2 of you will be back on your mind , you will just love her back like how you used to. Sometimes i do wonder, do you really really loves me alot now ?? I couldnt get an answer. Whenever i told you my nightmare your reply will alway be the same . I and her are just friends, i am with you now. Dont Worry . ARGHH !!! Fuck , what the hell am i thinking. Just let natural take course . FUCK !!!! I am so vexed!!!!!

Wentto work in the morning . Went to eat steamboat for lunch with Sally . After Lunch Sally went home as she is not feeling well due to the haze . So i went back office to do my stuff . Boss ask me to help him do payroll. Left work at around 6.30pm. Went home change a shoes and bag then off to meet Baby at Tampines Interchange. We went to buy our movie ticket first then went Sakae for dinner :) Yummy, Long time since i last eat Sushi . Baby know i am craving for it so he decided to have Sushi for dinner. So thoughtful of him . LOVES HIM LOT !!! Hehe. Walk around Century Square while waiting for Sister and Shiwei to arrive. Bought snack before going in for the movie . Overall , the show is nice man !! When i told Sister they all that it was a Indian show they was like shock and thought i was kidding with them . Hahas !! But it is worth watching . After the show, Baby send me home :) Will only get to see him on Saturday because he will be working :( Miss him lots.

Went Baby house to meet him before heading to Grandma birthday dinner. Baby cook food for me . And every dish he wrote a small note . Is so sweet of him :) I LOVES HIM ALOT !!! He cook too much until i couldnt finish, so i ask him to eat too :) Rest awhile and watch television. 5pm plus , Baby went to prepare . Then he accompany me to buy roses for my pretty ladies :) Took cab to Tampines Mall as Baby said he dont feel like taking bus -_-''' Walk around and went to buy cake for grandma :) Went my house downstair for dinner . The food is not really nice . Finish eating around 10pm plus . Meet Stella, Jeryl, Ken, Wanrong and Huina nearby my house . After much decision, we decided to go Jazz Pub. It is fun but when going home, something bad happen . He freak me out and i cried . I promise i will never go drinking with him anymore.

To my girls, Hope you all loves the gift i gave . Although it is not a expensive one but it the thoughts that count. Hope you all will hang that bear somewhere :) Have fun with all of you . Hope you all also .

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY PEEPS!!!! How do you people decided to spend your valentine ? To me , it is my Grandma birthday so i have no choice but to go do her celebration . Baby is joining me too , as Mum asked :) So we will probably spend our valentine in the morning or afternoon :) What did you people receive from your loves one ? To me , Baby gave me a fake roses with 2 couple bear , it was cute but the bear was a little out of shape . It was the gift before Valentine arrive . When the clock strike 12.00am, Baby gave me a Couch Wrist Pouch . I loves it a lot :) I bought a GUESS? Watches for Baby , hope he like it . Sis accidentally said the price out so like , he knew it . Forget it . Not gonna share the price . If peep wanna know tag me or message me :) One more things, I will give 4 of my close friends a gift . Although it was not an expensive want , but is the thoughts that count . Hope you people will like it when you all receive it :)

Work Work Work , Everyday working . Every Tuesday and Thursday after work still got tuition . So sian man !! Worst still , i am like 1 week 7days , i only get to meet Baby on weekends . Sometime he even had to work on sunday which mean we only mean 1 day a week . It is just simply torturing me . Last time , we was like seeing each other everyday , how am i going to get use to this life . Forget it , earn money is much more important now . Today at work was like so bored man !!! Anyway people , i will be opening chalet during my birthday . I know i announce too early , my birthday is on May which was like around 3 more month . So so long . Baby, Sister, Stella Jie and I will be celebrating our birthday together . We will open 2 chalet . OH MY GOD , i am so looking forward to it . Hahas !!!

Having the same nightmare almost every night . I was like waking up in the middle of the night crying . I thought i had forgotten the incident but i realise that i hasnt . I am still thinking of it , worrying of it . I hasnt given get over it . That incicent is still bothering me . I never realise that she was still the problem between us . haix .When can i really stop think of it . When can the nightmare stop haunting me . Haix.

Went Jeryl and Stella friends Birthday chalet yesterday with Baby . Before going in , we went E!Hub . Dinner at NewYorkNewYork . Went in around 8pm plus. Sing birthday song and cut cake . Went back to the room to play games . Germaine came so Stella , Germaine and I went to the balcony to chat . Talk alot and we went in the room to continue chatting and also gossiping :) Loves talking to them !!! Meet up often . Then the 3 of us play card game loser had to drink . Germaine was so unlucky and she keep drinking . She drink very little because she dont like Vodka Mango, she said it taste like medicine . Hahas . Home Sweet Home around 1.30am .


I had to admit , sometimes i really missed those time we were together . We were so close last time and i share everything with you and you even told me alot of things . You know how i feel . So whenever i am feeling down i will find you and tell you all me sorrow . I feel safe to tell you because you will keep it by yourself and not tell anyone . There is times i really wish to contact you back like giving you a call or message but i dont have your contact . Was happy to heard that you actually did try to contact me too . Now i have your number and you had mine , i hope we will keep in contact and be as close as last time . You are the only friend who will understand me, Share my sorrow and laughter with me :)

Yesterday went to meet Baby in the afternoon . Went down to pack lunch . Watch television all the way until 7pm plus . When Baby's Mum is back , we went over to his auntie house . Ate and see his nephew play cards . Left around 9pm plus . Over to find Hui Na and Shiwei . Went up to Baby house and i went Youtube to watch my show while they watch television . Sis , Wanrong and Ken came . Watch Dvd while waiting for Zhiwei, Michael and Fenghao to come . When they reach , went to Baby's study room and they start to gamble . Around 3am plus , Michael , Wanrong and Ken went Mac for supper . Play until 7am plus . Baby won :) Huina , Sis, Ken and Wanrong took cab home while Me, Baby and Shiwei went market for breakfast . Finish eating , I went back Baby house to sleep . We slept till 5pm in the evening . Brush our teeth and watch television . Actually going Ang Mo Kio eat with his Mum and all but we were too lazy so we went down to pack KFC for dinner . Finish eating , i went to shit it all out . Hahas :) Baby fall asleep so i watch television . Home Sweet Home at 11.00pm :)


Enen New Year outfit . She look pretty in Qi Pao :)


Enen butt look fat with this outfit . But she is simply so cute .